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Let the madness begin…
We were fooling around in the kitchen like half an hour before we were supposed to eat and knocked over the turkey. I want to clarify that my boyfriend and I werent fucking on top of the turkey. We were just frisky and making out at the same table. My dad was upstairs getting ready and my mom and brother were picking up my grandma who lives close by. As things got out of hand we knocked over the turkey.And we stood there and realized we had two choices: fess up, or just, like, put the turkey back and let everyone eat floor turkey.My boyfriend figured 5 second rule was still in effect and immediately put it back and tried to rearrange all the fixings. No one noticed, and we figured letting everyone eat turkey that had been on the floor for a bit was better than ruining Thanksgiving. Jess, 28
This could have been a whole lot worse than it was. One Thanksgiving, my whole family got food poisoning.
Best we can figure, we left some raw meat out somewhere and wound up preparing something else [that got contaminated with it].
It kicked in during sex with my girlfriend later that night, but luckily I made it to the bathroom before my butt exploded. Will, 28
My then-boyfriend was meeting my family for the first time on Thanksgiving, which in hindsight, was a lot of pressure to put on him. I could tell he was nervous when he first showed up, so before things kicked off, I brought him back to my bedroom to help him relax.My dad walked in on me giving him a blow job. My dad was so furious he kicked him out. I had to spend an awkward Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, and my boyfriend had to drive 45 minutes home and explain to his family why they needed to put out another place-setting. Rachel, 28
[Images found throughout Google, and quotes are from: Here].
If you don’t masturbate, your risk of prostate cancer goes up.
If your dry spell extends to the self-pleasure zone i.e., if you’re not masturbating at all research says that’s not healthy. In fact, multiple studies have pointed to the conclusion that “high ejaculation frequency” (a.k.a. jerking off at least 4.6 to seven times a week) is linked to a lower risk of prostate cancer. So get out those baby wipes and turn on Pornhub for the sake of your own health.
Your immune system gets weaker.
Orgasms are incredibly beneficial to your immune system, as psychologists Carl Charnetski and Francis Brennan Jr. found. They conducted a study where they asked patients who were having sex once or twice a week to provide saliva samples. Those samples were found to contain an extremely high concentration of the common-cold busting antibody immunoglobulin A. Who knew that extremely close contact was a net-positive in terms of preventing illness?
Your blood pressure can spike.
A great night of lovemaking can make literally everything else in the world feel better. Even if your boss won’t stop breathing down your neck, or if you’re under a bunch of deadlines, youre consistently getting laid, so all of that stuff seems super manageable.
Science says thats not a coincidence. In fact, a 2006 study in the medical journal Biological Psychology found that people who were having regular sex had lower levels of blood pressure than those who weren’t.
Pretty scary, huh?
Check out the rest of the article here.
So rather than have to make the above a reality, give us a call.
Self-pleasuring is healthy after all, and we want you to live a long, wonderful life.
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