🦃The Holidays are coming, whether you like it or not.🦃

To take an edge off of the madness, here’s some Thanksgiving -isms for you.

Let the madness begin…


We were fooling around in the kitchen like half an hour before we were supposed to eat and knocked over the turkey. I want to clarify that my boyfriend and I werent fucking on top of the turkey. We were just frisky and making out at the same table. My dad was upstairs getting ready and my mom and brother were picking up my grandma who lives close by. As things got out of hand we knocked over the turkey.And we stood there and realized we had two choices: fess up, or just, like, put the turkey back and let everyone eat floor turkey.My boyfriend figured 5 second rule was still in effect and immediately put it back and tried to rearrange all the fixings. No one noticed, and we figured letting everyone eat turkey that had been on the floor for a bit was better than ruining Thanksgiving. Jess, 28

 

This could have been a whole lot worse than it was. One Thanksgiving, my whole family got food poisoning.

Best we can figure, we left some raw meat out somewhere and wound up preparing something else [that got contaminated with it].

It kicked in during sex with my girlfriend later that night, but luckily I made it to the bathroom before my butt exploded. Will, 28

Hot & Horny on Thanksgiving? Give us a call!

1-800-SEX TALK

My then-boyfriend was meeting my family for the first time on Thanksgiving, which in hindsight, was a lot of pressure to put on him. I could tell he was nervous when he first showed up, so before things kicked off, I brought him back to my bedroom to help him relax.My dad walked in on me giving him a blow job. My dad was so furious he kicked him out. I had to spend an awkward Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, and my boyfriend had to drive 45 minutes home and explain to his family why they needed to put out another place-setting. Rachel, 28

Need to beat the meat? Give us a call.

1-800-SEX TALK

I had just discovered masturbating (thanks,Sex and the City!) and I was a late bloomer. I was late to the party. So I was doing it a lot.My mom walked in on me basting the turkeyright before we had to leave to go to my grandmas house.Even though she was a cool mom it was still an awkward car ride. I just listened to my CD player the whole time. Kim, 29

 

And, lastly…

Whatever your needs. Call us.

1-800-SEX TALK

 

 

[Images found throughout Google, and quotes are from: Here].

Listen up Men…

If you are not getting any, or participating in self-pleasure you aren’t doing yourself ANY¬†favors.

In fact, you may be putting your physical and mental health in danger.

Here are a few inserts from a Men’s Health Magazine that should help encourage you to pick up your cellphone and call 1-800-SEX-TALK right away…



If you don’t masturbate, your risk of prostate cancer goes up.

If your dry spell extends to the self-pleasure zone i.e., if you’re not masturbating at all research says that’s not healthy. In fact, multiple studies have pointed to the conclusion that “high ejaculation frequency” (a.k.a. jerking off at least 4.6 to seven times a week) is linked to a lower risk of prostate cancer. So get out those baby wipes and turn on Pornhub for the sake of your own health.

 

Your immune system gets weaker.

Orgasms are incredibly beneficial to your immune system, as psychologists Carl Charnetski and Francis Brennan Jr. found. They conducted a study where they asked patients who were having sex once or twice a week to provide saliva samples. Those samples were found to contain an extremely high concentration of the common-cold busting antibody immunoglobulin A. Who knew that extremely close contact was a net-positive in terms of preventing illness?

 

Your blood pressure can spike.

A great night of lovemaking can make literally everything else in the world feel better. Even if your boss won’t stop breathing down your neck, or if you’re under a bunch of deadlines, youre consistently getting laid, so all of that stuff seems super manageable.

Science says thats not a coincidence. In fact, a 2006 study in the medical journal Biological Psychology found that people who were having regular sex had lower levels of blood pressure than those who weren’t.



Pretty scary, huh?

Check out the rest of the article here.

So rather than have to make the above a reality, give us a call.

Self-pleasuring is healthy after all, and we want you to live a long, wonderful life.

1-800-SEX TALK

Have you ever wondered if your grandparents knew what sex toys were?

Are your grandparents sex toy savvy?

Are they prim and proper or completely badass?

Let’s find out what the Elders know via Elder’s React…

Do you have any funny sex toy stories? Have you found any old toys tucked away in the attic? Do you use any of the ones shown in this video? Or what kind of toys do you use? Let us know!

We are all ears! We are sex positive women who love to talk about all things sex! We love sex. We like talking dirty, and educating others about sex. Let’s talk!

1-800-SEX TALK

Can you guess what these are without looking down below?














Answer: These are Vibrators from the mid 20th century!

Hey, isn’t it crazy? Haven’t we advanced wonderfully in the world of Sex toys? We totally have!

If you ever find yourself in San Francisco, California, be sure to go visit the “Good Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum”.

Here you may find vibrators from the 1880s to the 1940s.

Is that too far to travel? Did you know that you can find these old time vibrators for sale online? It’s at your own risk, of course… Etsy’s Vintage Vibrators.

What is your favorite vibrator? Do you have a vibrating cock ring? Do you like theHitachi Magic Wand Massager (like this), or the Hitachi P-spot Wand Massager (like this)?

Give me a call, we can have a Sex Toy Massage hangout. We can use our vibes together.

1-800-SEX TALK

I’m available all day, every day!