🦃The Holidays are coming, whether you like it or not.🦃

To take an edge off of the madness, here’s some Thanksgiving -isms for you.

Let the madness begin…


We were fooling around in the kitchen like half an hour before we were supposed to eat and knocked over the turkey. I want to clarify that my boyfriend and I werent fucking on top of the turkey. We were just frisky and making out at the same table. My dad was upstairs getting ready and my mom and brother were picking up my grandma who lives close by. As things got out of hand we knocked over the turkey.And we stood there and realized we had two choices: fess up, or just, like, put the turkey back and let everyone eat floor turkey.My boyfriend figured 5 second rule was still in effect and immediately put it back and tried to rearrange all the fixings. No one noticed, and we figured letting everyone eat turkey that had been on the floor for a bit was better than ruining Thanksgiving. Jess, 28

 

This could have been a whole lot worse than it was. One Thanksgiving, my whole family got food poisoning.

Best we can figure, we left some raw meat out somewhere and wound up preparing something else [that got contaminated with it].

It kicked in during sex with my girlfriend later that night, but luckily I made it to the bathroom before my butt exploded. Will, 28

Hot & Horny on Thanksgiving? Give us a call!

1-800-SEX TALK

My then-boyfriend was meeting my family for the first time on Thanksgiving, which in hindsight, was a lot of pressure to put on him. I could tell he was nervous when he first showed up, so before things kicked off, I brought him back to my bedroom to help him relax.My dad walked in on me giving him a blow job. My dad was so furious he kicked him out. I had to spend an awkward Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, and my boyfriend had to drive 45 minutes home and explain to his family why they needed to put out another place-setting. Rachel, 28

Need to beat the meat? Give us a call.

1-800-SEX TALK

I had just discovered masturbating (thanks,Sex and the City!) and I was a late bloomer. I was late to the party. So I was doing it a lot.My mom walked in on me basting the turkeyright before we had to leave to go to my grandmas house.Even though she was a cool mom it was still an awkward car ride. I just listened to my CD player the whole time. Kim, 29

 

And, lastly…

Whatever your needs. Call us.

1-800-SEX TALK

 

 

[Images found throughout Google, and quotes are from: Here].

I swear that I love my job. Right now, I am wearing pink delicate panties with white lace, and a white semi-see through bra for my double Ds. I am laying on my back on my oversized round rotating Italian bed. I have my rabbit vibrator in one hand, and my cellphone in another.

I love bringing your fantasies to life. It is especially fun when you get me so turned on that I join you in the action. Just yesterday, I had a man that had this wonderfully sexy teacher-student fantasy:

He imagined me as his high school English teacher, Mrs. Bianca. She was a woman with big breasts and would bend over his desk whenever he needed help. He asked me to be Mrs. Bianca scolding him for not doing his homework. Apart of the punishment was grabbing his balls outside of his clothes, and whispering into his ears of all of the naughty things she was going to do to him. It went something like this


 

[Standing in front of Georges desk.]

Mrs. Bianca: George*, I need your book report on my desk this instant, or you are going to fail my class.

[George sitting at desk].

George: Iuh.

 

Mrs. Bianca: George? WHERE is your report?

George: Well, Iuh, I..uh

 

[Teacher bends over desk. Her boobs are dangling in front of Georges face].

Mrs. Bianca: You dont have it, do you? What AM I going to do with you, George? Youre going to FAIL my class unless you DO something about it!

 

[George looking hungrily at her boobs].

George: ma-maybe extra-extra credit or something?

 

Mrs. Bianca: Extra Credit for a report that I gave you a MONTH to write? Oh the nerve!

 

[George eye balling her breasts, feels a tingle between his legs].

George: …uh..may-maybe I can do something for you? I can clean your white board, or wash your desk—I can do whatever you want, whatever you needanything.

 

Mrs. Bianca: Anything? [She stands back up] You know, George, you should always be careful for what you wish for. [She unbuttons two buttons at the top of her blouse]. Okay, George, youve got itExtra Credit.

 

[George begins touching himself, and his teacher notices].

Mrs. Bianca: NO, George! Hands off! [She walks over to him]. GET UP!

 

[George gets up, and stands in front of his teacher. Mrs. Bianca, takes her hand, and grabs Georges balls. She leans in, and squeezes them].

 

Mrs. Bianca: For being a very naughty boy, I am going to have to teach you how to behave.

 

[Her hand then slips into his jeans. She grabs his hard cock, and squeezes it gently].

 

Mrs. Bianca: I am going to take out this hard-throbbing cock, and make it make my pussy sing.

 

[She presses up against George, and inches from his nose]

 

Mrs. Bianca: This is my cock now. I own it. You will do whatever I say. You will fuck me like your life depends on it. Because it does. You will make me cum so hard. If you dont, then kiss goodbye your A for this class.

 

[She unzips his pants, and pulls it down to the floor. She pulls down his underpants, and exposes his large swollen penis].

 

Mrs. Bianca: Oh, look at that naughty boys pecker, if only the rest of his body stood at attention like this part, you might be passing my class. Now, George, tell me exactly HOW naughty youve been, and how you need to be punished.

 

George: I uh..Ive been so-so very naughty teacher, I need to be punished.

 

[Mrs. Bianca unbuttons the remainder of her blouse].

 

Mrs. Bianca: Yes, you have, George. So very naughty. George, Im going to only tell you this once, and you must listen very carefully

 

[She lifts up her skirt, exposing the fact that she doesnt wear undergarments].

 

George: MmMmm

 

Mrs. Bianca: Fuck. Me. Right. Now.

 


WANT MORE? CALL ME. LET’S FINISH THIS SCENE TOGETHER.

1-800-SEX TALK

CALL ME ANYTIME.

—– 1800SEXT TALK—-

*names changed to protect his identity

One of my favorite times of the year is Halloween. I *LOVE* dressing up. Face it boys, it’s the ONE time us girls can go out in public looking like a slut without worrying about being arrested. Halloween should happen twice a year, just saying. 


So Halloween plus my favorite topic (SEX, duh!) brought me to this incredible discovery…

This is just a small sample of BAD DRAGONS work.

They have toys for everyone in mind: dildos, strap-ons, packers, sleeves, Masterbators, vibrators, etc…

All of these are customizable, and look absolutely amazing!

I really want to test out the 4th one. I wanna feel it inside me. Oh my gosh, just looking at it is turning me on. It’s making me so wet just day dreaming about it. I bet that those groves would massage my g-spot until I cum. Oh gosh, I need to get my vibrator out (it’s not as pretty as the one’s above, but it will tie me over for now), and start massaging my pussy. Will you call me and help me out?

1-800-SEX TALK

Please call me. Oh fuck…me.

 

 

FRIDAY CONFESSIONAL: Today’s blog is told by one of our regular callers, who uses 1800SEXTALK to reenact one of his most favorite sexual encounters…



I couldnt believe my luck…

The girl that I have had a crush on at work for the last month sat next to me! I always eat my lunch alone, but today, she choose to be my booth buddy. I could feel her warmth, and was getting dizzy from the smell of her perfume.

I have been crushing on his red-head, and here she was. She leans against me, peering over at my lunch, and asks me what I am eating. I feel a rush of heat flush throughout my body. Her warm body against mine. Her red curls smell like flowers.

Uh Oh.

She looks at me for a few seconds, reading my mixed expression of worry and excitement. Still leaning against me, she takes a hand, and touches my chest. Her hand travels down to my abdomen, and finally rests on the hard budge that is developing underneath my pants. Mmm

She lightly massages my growing budge, and in a crossbetween want and embarrassment, I push her hand away. She retreats, and sits next to me defiantly. With her now free hand, she begins to touch herself outside of her clothes. Mmm.

The girl who I have fantasized about was sitting in my booth, next to me, touching herself. I wanted to touch her so bad. Reading my expression, she takes my hand, and puts it where her crotch is. She humps to the motion of my hand. With my free hand, I begin to massage my own crotch. I want to fuck her so bad.

She begins to shimmy up her skirt to reveal the lack thereof of undergarments. I take my hand, and continue to massage her warm pubic mound. With two fingers, I begin to massage the inner lips of her pussy. She was so wet and warm. I felt a shiver of sensation, and I look down to realize that she is massaging my hard budge again. I want to taste her. I gesture her to lay on her back, and open up her legs. I turn onto my stomach, and make my way in. With my two hands, I separated her lips, and with my tongue, I took a few tastes. Wow. I went for a few more. I ended up burying my face into her pussy. This was the best lunch that I have ever had! She was so wet, and wiggling with delight. I was so hard that it hurt being trapped in these pants. Quickly, I unbuckled my jeans, and pulled them down to my knees. Her pussy looked so good that I wanted to be inside her NOW. I pulled out my massage gorging cock, and her eyes went wide. She arched her back, and opened her legs more. She wanted me. She wanted me to fuck her so bad. She was so wet. So I went for it. I climbed on top, and began thrusting into her. I fucked, and fucked, and fucked. The very best way that I could explain her pussy is that it felt like a warm hug. She took her hands, and pulled my hips into her every time I thrusted. She wanted it deeper. I fucked her until her eyes went back into her head, and her groans were uncontrollable. She was having a fucking orgasm, and it made me buck wild. As she shook, and the walls of her pussy pulsated, I felt a rush of electricity of my own. I came into her like a firefighter rushes a fire. I could feel my cum gushing all inside her, and she was wild with sensation.

We were both breathing very hard when it was over. She got up, and did the cum walk back to the girls room. I sat there realizing that I just had the best lunch that any guy could ask for. Thanks to 1800SEXTALK for letting me tell my story. Im putting it out there in the universe, because I hope that I am granted a round two, because this guy is still hungry

But till then, I am going to call

1-800-SEX TALK

and fantasize about this happening again and again. It’s real girls at any time.

Oh, crap, all of this talking is making me hard again. I am going to call them right now…

FRIDAY’S STORY:

Thanks to one of our girls supplying her BFF’s Confessional. It’s from a guy’s perspective this week. Enjoy!


When I was a kid, there was this girl in day camp that I always thought was beautiful, but never had the guts to tell her or even talk to her. She wasn’t popular, and was in the group that the other campers would completely ignore. It think they were called, “the rejects”. It was a pretty bad label, and it followed them from summer to summer.  I always wondered if my peers were blind to her beauty or if I was just the weird one, and so I left it at that.

I always felt a little bit like a creeper, watching her from afar. She had shoulder length golden blonde hair, and these plastic framed glasses. I guess the glasses is why people labeled her “a reject”. Some folks just can’t see, and they get made fun of for it. It’s really messed up, and I wish that I was a better person back then to stand up for her… anyways, she always said hello to me in the morning, and smiled. I always felt little butterflies in my stomach when she did this. I would wait for her every morning, and her smile always made my insides squeeze, and my knees weak. I would purposefully sit next to her “by accident” on the camp buses just to smell her rosy scent. She used to make unusual lanyards, and I was always in awe to how she put them together. I think that I was in love, and then one day she disappeared.

She quit day camp, and my little 11 year old heart broke.

Well, fast forward about ten years, I was in college, and I am going to the library to study. I sit by an area that has reserved rooms, and I find myself looking up. No idea why, but I keep feeling drawn to this one room. Completely random, I know. The door opens from that reserved room, and this tall blonde with very long hair comes walking out. It takes my brain a second to register, but my insides immediately drop to the floor. I don’t know why or how, but I find myself blurting out her name. It came out more like a statement and less of question, she stops, and focuses on me. Her face, showing no recognition, faces in my direction. I find myself getting up, grabbing my things, and walking her way. She looks up at me, and her eyes widen with a faint recognition. “Oh”.

She looked at me. Her face had become even more beautiful. She had traded in the glasses for contacts, and had filled out up top. She wasn’t this little flat chested girl anymore. I found myself looking over her curves, and fine lines. She was incredibly hot, and all of those mean kids in day camp were surely missing out.

She caught my eyes, and looked deep inside. “Jeffery, is that you? Wow, you are handsome!” Yes, yes it was me. Oh I am handsome. She steps closer, “you were the sweet one in day camp. I always liked you”. She was close enough that I could smell her, and the hint of the rosy flavor was still there. I breathed in deeply trying to trap that flavor in my very being. I wanted drink her in. I wanted to taste her.

She stepped even closer, I was just inches from her face. “Hey, would you like to study with me? I have a study room all to myself. It gets pretty lonely in here, and—oh…” The closeness of her body, the fragrance, and the butterflies were a bit too much. We both look down, and I see that I have a ragging hard on poking her through my shorts. She looks up, bits her lower lip, and quickly pulls me into the study room. Closing the door behind her, she motions to me to throw my books into a pile on the floor, and I do so. She comes up to me, her hand massaging my crotch, and looks deep into my eyes, “what are we studying for today?” She breaks eye contact, and her hands travel down my body, and begin unbuttoning my shorts. She pulls them down to my ankles, and works back up to my tighty-whities. She pulls them down, and returns to look at my raging boner. She takes one of her hands, and delicately holds my penis. Then she looks at me, “oh Jeffery, I’ve been fantasizing about you since masterbating was a thing. I hope you don’t mind if I make that into a reality…” I nod, her gorgeous blue eyes break away, and she puts my penis in her mouth. The warmness of her hands, and mouth feel incredible. She strokes me, and pushes me deeper. I can’t exactly explain the wonderful sensation of deep throating a girl, but I had to brace myself against the furniture to throat fuck her. She gags, but continues to take me in. Her hands cup my balls, and lightly squeeze them. I feel a pulsating pleasure coming on. I can’t help the intense feeling that is riding in my groin. I pull my penis out, afraid to cum without pleasuring her first. She insists, and gently guides the head of my penis back into her mouth. She sucks it, licks its, and pushes it back down her throat. I can’t exactly explain the sensation, but it was a million times better than it was with using my own hands. I blindly orgasm into her sweet throat, and she sucks it down. I leave my penis there for a few seconds more, until she gently pulls it out. I am going flaccid. She stands up, I am again weak in the knees, and she looks into my eyes…


This is where he left off.

Apparently, he had gotten so turned on by recounting the storyline, that he needed a little “encouragement” to go on.

If you need a little “encouragement” yourself, give us a call.

You can be Jeffery, and I’ll be the hot girl from your youth.

Let’s do this!

 

1-800-SEX TALK

 

Its been a busy week, and I

decided to go unwind at a local pub. Sometimes, there are sports games on the monitors, and other times, it’s the local programming. Tonight, it was local programming.

I was sitting at the bar, sipping a glass from my favorite tap (Dog Fish Head), when this young man comes strolling into the bar. He is wearing a Harley bikers jacket with many patches, and places his helmet up on the counter. It’s bizarre to me, because it isn’t typically young men who own the Harleys. But what do I know?

 

He catches me looking

at him, and nods. He peers at my drink, recognizes it, and nods again. I’m having what she’s having. The barman produces the drink, and biker guy takes a long swig from it. He turns to me, curious about what I was up to, and if I wanted to “see it”.

I’m looking at him for all the wrong reasons. Young, good-looking bad boy with a bike. Of course, I want to “see it”. Who wouldn’t? I agree, and we leave together.

 

Outside, he points out his ride. It’s his old mans classic beauty. He gets to ride it now and then. I look over at him, biker patches, jeans that shaped around his form quiet lovely, and hardy work books. I reply to him, that I’d like to “ride it”, too. I winked.

He looked at me, a tall blonde haired blue eyed mid-twenties woman with a few buttons undone displaying my lovely assets, and a pair of jeans that hugged all of the right parts.

 

I walked up to his bike, and carefully traced the shape with the ends of my fingers. He tells me that the ride is exhilarating, and he loves how it feels up top. I stop and look up at him: “I’m having what you’re having”.

 

In the next second,

I find myself being led by the hand to the area between the pub and the building next to it. There’s a pathway, and it goes to the back of the building. It’s dark out, and private. He pushes me against the wall, and we start making out. He quickly unbuttons my shirt, pulls down my bra, exposing my breasts, and starts sucking on them.

I take my hand, and feel for his pants, he is budging. He takes my hand, and pins it back against the wall. Panting, he unbuttons, and pulls down my jeans to my ankles. Taking his hand, he grasps my pussy, and kisses me some more. I am incredibly wet. He quickly shimmys his pants down to his ankles, and pulls out this massive cock. He whispers into my ear, “Lets ride”. He lifts me up, and slowly slides my down right over his penis. I’ve never had a guy lift-fuck me before. Pressing me against the wall, above ground, he fucks me as hard as he can. OMG! I cant describe the sensation than anything more than exhilarating. He was right

 

Want to hear more? Call me. I’ll tell you what happened next.

 

1-800-SEX TALK