TO CELEBRATE HUMP DAY…

1-800-SEX TALK

WILL HUMP WHILE TALKING ABOUT SEX.

🥁+ SHHHH!

(Okay, okay, I admit that was lame. But do you want to know what is NOT lame? Just check out these messed up beauties.


INAPPROPRIATE DIRTY JOKES

&

INAPPROPRIATE COMICS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS


YOU’RE WELCOME!

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

 

Ps. Any favorites? Call us, and let us know!

1-800-SEX TALK

 

Congratulations on 10 Years, Pornhub!



Check out this hilarious compilation of Pornstars reading private messages sent to them via social media.

From our own twitter page (@1_800_SEXTALK), we can say that this is definitely a thing*.

Want to talk to a real girl rather than through PM?

1-800-SEX TALK

It’s better live anyways. 😉

 

 

 


*(Ookinglay atway ouyay Enispay Icturepay Eoplepay).

 

XXXENOPHILE, ‘Safe Sex”.

Are you looking for strongly written, and well drawn comic book series portraying adult themes? After raking through the internet, we have found you a well-written guide to great NSFW comic books.

15 Comics TOO HOT To Read In Public

If you find yourself turned on by any of this, feel free to give us a call, and tell us all about it. Is there a fantasy that you would like to try that you found in one of the books? Our girls are open-minded, and are interested in trying anything that you throw at us. Call today.

1-800-SEX TALK

The sad reality is that there are people out there who don’t practice safe sex, and don’t care about their sexual well-being. They don’t wrap it up, they don’t get tested, and they potentially expose others to disease. If this sounds like you, it’s not too late to change this behavior. Call your GP or go to the local clinic and get tested. Also, get a bagful of condoms while you are at it. It pays to be safe.


Not ready to have live action sex? No worries! We are here to fill in the blanks.

1-800-SEX TALK

Give us a call! With the power of your imagination, you can take us anywhere! We are here 24/7!

The weather was crazy for Day 1 of Lollapalooza!

 But fear not! We are down for anything. Need an excuse to “warm yourself up”? Need someone to talk to? Have a fantasy that you’d like us to share in? (Like doing something naughty while listening to Blink 182 live)? Give us a call! We’re here for YOU.

 

1-800-SEX TALK


(Psst. Want to hear about our naughty stories from our last Lollapalooza experience? Check out our other blog posts! (Lollapalooza Stories).

 

It’s August in Chicago!

Do you know what that means? It means that it is time to get laid while listening to the best live music available! Whoo-hoo! August 3rd is the first day of Lollapalooza, a music festival that is held in Chicago for the last 25 years. It’s also the sexiest of concerts that you’d ever go to, so I highly suggest getting your butt over there, and surveying the scene.


Why do I like it so much? Well, let me tell you about the Summer of 2016…

Wearing just my little booty shorts, and this flowing v-neck top, I hitchhiked my butt all of the way to Chicago for three days of bliss.

On the first day, I met a group of young man from a local college (Columbia, I think). They had taken several tents and tarp, and had made this epic maze of rooms. I asked one of the cute boys from the group to show me around, and he shyly agreed. I could tell he liked me, because he was watching me every time I moved. I even pretended to accidentally drop something on the floor, bent over with my boobs hanging low, and looked over to see him salivating with desire.

After walking me through the third room of his tent kingdom, he took me into his quarters, pulled me so close that I could feel his hard cock bulging in his pants. Using my hips, I pressed them rhythmically against his hard desire. His mind fully focused on his needs, he quickly removed his pants, to expose this massive BBC. I slowly and teasingly dropped my short-shorts to the floor. He stood in front of me, gripping his massive cock, and beckons me to come forward. Looking into his eyes, I take my fingers, and slowly remove my wet undies. He steps forward, picks me up by the waist, and slowly slides my vagina over his hard throbbing warm incredible cock. He lifts me up, and slides me down that incredible shaft. Again. And, again. My tight little wet pussy is being opened up by this great massive force. And, it feels sooooo good.

He then lays me down on my back on this neon red bean bag, and quickens the pace. His thrusts are harder, faster, and deeper. Every thrust, causes my large breasts to bounce up into my face. Still inside me, he cups my breasts with both hands, and massages them. His thumbs circle my hard erect nipples, and his thrusting becomes insane.

He is on the verge of coming, I could feel the blinding animalistic level of pleasure he is about to encounter. This shy young man a moment ago, is fucking my pussy like it’s the last activity that he is going to perform on Earth.

He takes his hands, and grabs me around the waist, and pulls me forward. His eyes are closed, and he is no longer able to control his primal urge. He gasps into my ear, “you’re… my… first”, before cuming, and drowning in the awesome world of orgasmic euphoria…


Day one was pretty awesome, I walked away with this young college kid’s V-card. But it didn’t end there. Like I said, this festival is known for the most folks getting down.

All of this writing is making me really, really, wet. Like I need someone to call me right now, and help me rub one off.

1-800-SEX TALK

 Please, someone, call me right now. My panties are so wet. Hey, if you call me, I promise that I will write down more of my sexy adventures in tomorrow’s blog…


Lollapalooza Day 1: V-Card Score!

One woman describes the first time she had anal sex in intimate – and endearing – detail.

 

Do you have a funny story that you would like to share with us?

Do you have any fantasies about having bum-sex?

We are all ears. Call us now.

1-800-SEX TALK