I like to browse Craigs List

for odd jobs before the weekend, and usually choose one or two gigs to reply to. This is the part of CL that has all of the kinky wants and dreams, and “we’ll pay you to do it”.


Two weeks ago, I sold my spoiled underwear to a panty sniffer who paid $10 bucks for each pair that was worn for a month. I read later, that I sold them for too low of a price, so I guess that I need to read “Selling Used Panties 101”. You’re welcome, cheap panty guy, where ever you are.

 

A week ago, I found a guy who paid for dinner, and a hotel, but he didn’t want sex. No, no. No, sex. No, this guy had a fetish with women peeing on him. He just loved to be peed on. At dinner, I had to drink several glasses of pineapple juice (because he liked the taste of the urine), and to eat a small salad (for a more robust bladder). He’d pay me $250 if I peed all over him. And, he’d pay me more if directly into his mouth, while telling him “to drink me, baby”. You know, it wasn’t a bad experience at all. This guy had a dream, and I helped make it reality.

 

For this weekend, I found a guy who has a has a relationship with his Real Dolls. He owns two, I think. He wants me to be the girl who watches. Again, no sex involved. He wants me to watch him while he makes out with his girls, and have sex with them. But what do I do? I watch. And, I comment on his technique. He says that he has autism, and having someone giving him sex advice while he practices helps him learn about real women and their needs. Its a unique situation, and hey, it pays. He was offering $200 per a session. He plans on having five sessions, and will only let me commit after the first one. So, if we’re not a match, he’d let me opt out. Pretty cool.

 

Anyways, that’s all I have for today. I thought that I’d share that with you. If you have any fetishes that I can provide over the phone, please let me know. I only do the Craig’s List ads on the side. Sorry, but I won’t go to your place no matter how much you try to sweet talk me. Thats the line that I refuse to cross. And, you know, the phone is so much better. Like, I can be ANYONE to your hearts content. I can recreate your fantasies (it’s only as good as your imagination is), and we’d have a great time.

 

Give me a call. Im all ears. 😉

1-800-SEX TALK

🦃The Holidays are coming, whether you like it or not.🦃

To take an edge off of the madness, here’s some Thanksgiving -isms for you.

Let the madness begin…


We were fooling around in the kitchen like half an hour before we were supposed to eat and knocked over the turkey. I want to clarify that my boyfriend and I werent fucking on top of the turkey. We were just frisky and making out at the same table. My dad was upstairs getting ready and my mom and brother were picking up my grandma who lives close by. As things got out of hand we knocked over the turkey.And we stood there and realized we had two choices: fess up, or just, like, put the turkey back and let everyone eat floor turkey.My boyfriend figured 5 second rule was still in effect and immediately put it back and tried to rearrange all the fixings. No one noticed, and we figured letting everyone eat turkey that had been on the floor for a bit was better than ruining Thanksgiving. Jess, 28

 

This could have been a whole lot worse than it was. One Thanksgiving, my whole family got food poisoning.

Best we can figure, we left some raw meat out somewhere and wound up preparing something else [that got contaminated with it].

It kicked in during sex with my girlfriend later that night, but luckily I made it to the bathroom before my butt exploded. Will, 28

Hot & Horny on Thanksgiving? Give us a call!

1-800-SEX TALK

My then-boyfriend was meeting my family for the first time on Thanksgiving, which in hindsight, was a lot of pressure to put on him. I could tell he was nervous when he first showed up, so before things kicked off, I brought him back to my bedroom to help him relax.My dad walked in on me giving him a blow job. My dad was so furious he kicked him out. I had to spend an awkward Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, and my boyfriend had to drive 45 minutes home and explain to his family why they needed to put out another place-setting. Rachel, 28

Need to beat the meat? Give us a call.

1-800-SEX TALK

I had just discovered masturbating (thanks,Sex and the City!) and I was a late bloomer. I was late to the party. So I was doing it a lot.My mom walked in on me basting the turkeyright before we had to leave to go to my grandmas house.Even though she was a cool mom it was still an awkward car ride. I just listened to my CD player the whole time. Kim, 29

 

And, lastly…

Whatever your needs. Call us.

1-800-SEX TALK

 

 

[Images found throughout Google, and quotes are from: Here].