🦃The Holidays are coming, whether you like it or not.🦃
To take an edge off of the madness, here’s some Thanksgiving -isms for you.
Let the madness begin…
We were fooling around in the kitchen like half an hour before we were supposed to eat and knocked over the turkey. I want to clarify that my boyfriend and I werent fucking on top of the turkey. We were just frisky and making out at the same table. My dad was upstairs getting ready and my mom and brother were picking up my grandma who lives close by. As things got out of hand we knocked over the turkey.And we stood there and realized we had two choices: fess up, or just, like, put the turkey back and let everyone eat floor turkey.My boyfriend figured 5 second rule was still in effect and immediately put it back and tried to rearrange all the fixings. No one noticed, and we figured letting everyone eat turkey that had been on the floor for a bit was better than ruining Thanksgiving. Jess, 28
This could have been a whole lot worse than it was. One Thanksgiving, my whole family got food poisoning.
Best we can figure, we left some raw meat out somewhere and wound up preparing something else [that got contaminated with it].
It kicked in during sex with my girlfriend later that night, but luckily I made it to the bathroom before my butt exploded. Will, 28
Hot & Horny on Thanksgiving? Give us a call!
My then-boyfriend was meeting my family for the first time on Thanksgiving, which in hindsight, was a lot of pressure to put on him. I could tell he was nervous when he first showed up, so before things kicked off, I brought him back to my bedroom to help him relax.My dad walked in on me giving him a blow job. My dad was so furious he kicked him out. I had to spend an awkward Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, and my boyfriend had to drive 45 minutes home and explain to his family why they needed to put out another place-setting. Rachel, 28
Need to beat the meat? Give us a call.
I had just discovered masturbating (thanks,Sex and the City!) and I was a late bloomer. I was late to the party. So I was doing it a lot.My mom walked in on me basting the turkeyright before we had to leave to go to my grandmas house.Even though she was a cool mom it was still an awkward car ride. I just listened to my CD player the whole time. Kim, 29
Whatever your needs. Call us.
[Images found throughout Google, and quotes are from: Here].
Have you ever wondered if your grandparents knew what sex toys were?
Are your grandparents sex toy savvy?
Are they prim and proper or completely badass?
Let’s find out what the Elders know via Elder’s React…
Do you have any funny sex toy stories? Have you found any old toys tucked away in the attic? Do you use any of the ones shown in this video? Or what kind of toys do you use? Let us know!
We are all ears! We are sex positive women who love to talk about all things sex! We love sex. We like talking dirty, and educating others about sex. Let’s talk!
Let that sink in for a moment…
Pornhub Made a Song by Using Sex Toys as Instruments
PornHub has some mad skillz…
But so do we.
Give us a call, and let’s make some music of our own…
Some days, we all need a good laugh…
Other days, we all need a good chat.
We are here to listen 24/7. Talk to us about anything. Sex, love, and drawing of penises.
This November, sharpen your cunnilingual abilities with a limited edition grooming tool from Brazzers. Customized and created in support of men’s health, the Brazzers Muffstache Comb can be yours with a donation of $10.00 or more to the men’s health charity of our choice.
Get that much needed confidence boost that comes with a freshly combed mustache or beard, marvel at the oaky goodness of a freshly carved Brazzers Muffstache Comb, and treat your partner to the best oral exam they’ve ever received!
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If not, then you can just call us to talk about whatever…
Do you have this problem?
Try SEXTALK instead!
Real GIRLS 24/7!
We’re open minded, and you can tell us ANYTHING that you want.
Do you know what these Emojis mean?
Have you used any of these emojis in your day-to-day life? What’s your favorite?
Unfortunately, there will be people in your life that have these red flags. Do the smart thing, and get out. It is not worth your time, and your life to be stuck with a person with these maladaptive behaviors. You can’t change them, either.
Have you had a relationship like this? Do you need to role play a healthy relationship? Do you need to bypass the dating scene, and just “Netflix & Chill”? We’re here for all of the above.
Please give us a call. We are here for you.
Learn how to become a “Bra Expert” by watching several noobs take bras off of women.
Taking bras off of a lady isn’t easy. There are all kinds of bra types. Here’s a good video showing the ins and outs of bra removal.
Do you have any questions about bras? Have experience with them? Need help maneuvering them?
Ask one of our girls! We are here all day, every day, and are very open-minded.
Give us a call now: