Honestly, when you first saw this object…

What was the first word that popped into your head?


The answer? This is a Dildo. An ancient STONE dildo from Roman times.

Can you imagine using stone sex toys? Aren’t you glad that we’ve moved onto silicone toys?

To read more about ANCIENT SEX TOYS, check out this nifty article. It’s about a 2 to 3 minute read.


Feeling turned on after reading this article? Good! Give us a call. Pull out your modern equivalents, and let’s get to work!

1-800-SEX TALK



There’s a trending topic on many porn sites, that have partners begging their significant others to perform the task.

What is it?

It’s Female Ejaculation and / or Squirting.

Wait–wait, aren’t they the same thing? Isn’t Female Ejaculation and Squirting the synonymous? 

Nope. Nope.

And, this is why science is awesome!

————————————————————————-

Have you ever experienced Female Ejaculation or Squirting with a partner? What did it taste like? What did it look like? Did it turn you on? Did it make you want her more? What did you do to “get her there”? Will you share your technique with us? Tell us step by step, while we try it out ourselves…

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TO CELEBRATE HUMP DAY…

1-800-SEX TALK

WILL HUMP WHILE TALKING ABOUT SEX.

🥁+ SHHHH!

(Okay, okay, I admit that was lame. But do you want to know what is NOT lame? Just check out these messed up beauties.


INAPPROPRIATE DIRTY JOKES

&

INAPPROPRIATE COMICS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS


YOU’RE WELCOME!

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

 

Ps. Any favorites? Call us, and let us know!

1-800-SEX TALK

 

[Insert Sexy two-partner position here]

“Yeah, but does it WORK?”


Have you ever gone through a magazine, and it had illustrations for some sexy positions for two-partner sex? Have you ever took a closer look at the picture, and wondered, “How on Earth would that work?”

Well, Cosmopolitan found two people to take the challenge of attempting a live-action version of underwater sex.

And, yes, and the results are wonderfully hilarious!

The video accompanying the article, “Watch Real People Struggle Through Cosmo’s Underwater Sex Positions”, is absolutely amazing.

(Please don’t eat while watching this).

Have you ever tried any of these before?

One of our girls says that she was semi-successful with “Surfs Up” (for a few thrusts), until she got the giggles, and ended up rocking the raft until it capsized. Her partner had gotten water up his nose, and they had to stop until he was okay. She said that they tried one more time, and was nearly successful, but the friction or the amount of bouncing on the raft ended up popping it. She says there’s nothing like having sex, while slowly sinking into the water. They had to move to the hot tub, to finish. “At least the hot tub had the metal ADA bars to hold on to, as he thrusted into me”.

Sounds like good times.


Did any of the positions in the video actually work for you?

Would you like to fantasize about doing one of them with our girls? We are all ears!

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Intrigued by Monday’s blog post about Erotic Comic books, we decided to dig further and see what else was out there.

“Oh Joy, Sex Toy”, one of the cartoons mentioned in yesterday’s list also features—wait for it—erotic coloring books for adults.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you would know that coloring books have made a comeback in the last few years with a new audience: adults.

Coloring books are being sold to adults at a record pace, because they are advertised to be a great stress reliever.

Have anxiety? Draw in a coloring book.

Bored? Draw in a coloring book.

Want to pretend that your five? Draw in a–kidding, just kidding.😜

“Oh Joy, Sex Toy” creates comics that nearly covers everything found in the sex industry and sex education.

They are well drawn, and very relatable.

(They are very sexy, too. Take a look at the two girls getting it on. That’s HOT!)


If this is a turn on for you, let us know.😉

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Call today.

XXXENOPHILE, ‘Safe Sex”.

Are you looking for strongly written, and well drawn comic book series portraying adult themes? After raking through the internet, we have found you a well-written guide to great NSFW comic books.

15 Comics TOO HOT To Read In Public

If you find yourself turned on by any of this, feel free to give us a call, and tell us all about it. Is there a fantasy that you would like to try that you found in one of the books? Our girls are open-minded, and are interested in trying anything that you throw at us. Call today.

1-800-SEX TALK

Let’s talk about Lube.

If you have walked into the Family Planning / Sexual Well-being section of your local grocery store, you are going to find an array of sexual lubricants: Warming, Water-based, Flavored, etc..

But what does all of this mean? And, which lube is safe to use with your butt-plug, vibrator or cock-ring?

Well, here’s a handy visual tool to help learn all about those lubes.

8 Types of Lube…

You’re welcome.


Do you have any funny/painful lube stories? We do:

 

“I wish that I knew the difference between the lubes. I had bought a warming lube, and mistakenly used it for anal sex. On the bottle of the product, it said to not use it internally. I must have forgotten about the warnings, and went on ahead using it for anal play. My partner at that time, took a glob of the gel, and spread it all over his genitals. And, shortly thereafter, we started anal-sex. The warming effect of the lube didn’t activate right away. It took time to warm up. Initially, it felt good. This was some amazing magical gel. My partner even added more to his balls, because he liked the sensation the warming effect gave. Except, the magical gel didn’t know when to stop. It kept warming up to the point of “Get it off of me!” My partner said it felt like his balls were being burned off. We rushed to the bathroom, and frantically tried to wash off the lube from our bodies. We ended up taking separate showers, and not resuming sex afterwards. 

We laugh about it now, but we learned a valuable lesson the hard way: pay attention to where your lubes can go. My insides burned and tingled for several hours afterwards. Every time I needed to go #2, they would burn again. It took about a week for everything to go back to normal. He says that his balls were very red for a few days, and it also took him about a week for them to return to normal”.

SO READ THE ARTICLE ABOVE!!!

 

“I was new to sex, and had a lot of articles talking about the importance of using lubercants. I had just bought some silicone based lube, and was excited to try it out. My partner complained that I was sort of dry down there, and wanted to know if I had some lube. Being too excited about using it, I pulled it out, and dumped a LOT of it on myself. I didn’t realize that too much lube could be a problem. (I also didn’t read the directions that said that a few drops would suffice either). So we start having sex, and I can’t feel anything. I can see that he is sliding in and out of me at a record pace, and I am feeling absolutely nothing. After another minute of him penetrating me, he stops, and shakes his head. Apparently, I had put so much lube down there, that he couldn’t get any friction either. He tried different speeds, but nothing was working for him. I simply had too much lube down there, and he couldn’t feel a thing. We tried mopping up the lube with a towel, but it wasn’t enough. I ended up having to give him a hand job using a towel”.

SO READ THE ARTICLE ABOVE!!!

Have a funny lube story? Feel free to share with us at

1-800-SEX TALK

Do you have some new lube that you want to try out? Give us a call. We will get ours, and we can have a lube party together!

 

 

 

It’s August in Chicago!

Do you know what that means? It means that it is time to get laid while listening to the best live music available! Whoo-hoo! August 3rd is the first day of Lollapalooza, a music festival that is held in Chicago for the last 25 years. It’s also the sexiest of concerts that you’d ever go to, so I highly suggest getting your butt over there, and surveying the scene.


Why do I like it so much? Well, let me tell you about the Summer of 2016…

Wearing just my little booty shorts, and this flowing v-neck top, I hitchhiked my butt all of the way to Chicago for three days of bliss.

On the first day, I met a group of young man from a local college (Columbia, I think). They had taken several tents and tarp, and had made this epic maze of rooms. I asked one of the cute boys from the group to show me around, and he shyly agreed. I could tell he liked me, because he was watching me every time I moved. I even pretended to accidentally drop something on the floor, bent over with my boobs hanging low, and looked over to see him salivating with desire.

After walking me through the third room of his tent kingdom, he took me into his quarters, pulled me so close that I could feel his hard cock bulging in his pants. Using my hips, I pressed them rhythmically against his hard desire. His mind fully focused on his needs, he quickly removed his pants, to expose this massive BBC. I slowly and teasingly dropped my short-shorts to the floor. He stood in front of me, gripping his massive cock, and beckons me to come forward. Looking into his eyes, I take my fingers, and slowly remove my wet undies. He steps forward, picks me up by the waist, and slowly slides my vagina over his hard throbbing warm incredible cock. He lifts me up, and slides me down that incredible shaft. Again. And, again. My tight little wet pussy is being opened up by this great massive force. And, it feels sooooo good.

He then lays me down on my back on this neon red bean bag, and quickens the pace. His thrusts are harder, faster, and deeper. Every thrust, causes my large breasts to bounce up into my face. Still inside me, he cups my breasts with both hands, and massages them. His thumbs circle my hard erect nipples, and his thrusting becomes insane.

He is on the verge of coming, I could feel the blinding animalistic level of pleasure he is about to encounter. This shy young man a moment ago, is fucking my pussy like it’s the last activity that he is going to perform on Earth.

He takes his hands, and grabs me around the waist, and pulls me forward. His eyes are closed, and he is no longer able to control his primal urge. He gasps into my ear, “you’re… my… first”, before cuming, and drowning in the awesome world of orgasmic euphoria…


Day one was pretty awesome, I walked away with this young college kid’s V-card. But it didn’t end there. Like I said, this festival is known for the most folks getting down.

All of this writing is making me really, really, wet. Like I need someone to call me right now, and help me rub one off.

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 Please, someone, call me right now. My panties are so wet. Hey, if you call me, I promise that I will write down more of my sexy adventures in tomorrow’s blog…


Lollapalooza Day 1: V-Card Score!