🦃The Holidays are coming, whether you like it or not.🦃

To take an edge off of the madness, here’s some Thanksgiving -isms for you.

Let the madness begin…


We were fooling around in the kitchen like half an hour before we were supposed to eat and knocked over the turkey. I want to clarify that my boyfriend and I werent fucking on top of the turkey. We were just frisky and making out at the same table. My dad was upstairs getting ready and my mom and brother were picking up my grandma who lives close by. As things got out of hand we knocked over the turkey.And we stood there and realized we had two choices: fess up, or just, like, put the turkey back and let everyone eat floor turkey.My boyfriend figured 5 second rule was still in effect and immediately put it back and tried to rearrange all the fixings. No one noticed, and we figured letting everyone eat turkey that had been on the floor for a bit was better than ruining Thanksgiving. Jess, 28

 

This could have been a whole lot worse than it was. One Thanksgiving, my whole family got food poisoning.

Best we can figure, we left some raw meat out somewhere and wound up preparing something else [that got contaminated with it].

It kicked in during sex with my girlfriend later that night, but luckily I made it to the bathroom before my butt exploded. Will, 28

Hot & Horny on Thanksgiving? Give us a call!

1-800-SEX TALK

My then-boyfriend was meeting my family for the first time on Thanksgiving, which in hindsight, was a lot of pressure to put on him. I could tell he was nervous when he first showed up, so before things kicked off, I brought him back to my bedroom to help him relax.My dad walked in on me giving him a blow job. My dad was so furious he kicked him out. I had to spend an awkward Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, and my boyfriend had to drive 45 minutes home and explain to his family why they needed to put out another place-setting. Rachel, 28

Need to beat the meat? Give us a call.

1-800-SEX TALK

I had just discovered masturbating (thanks,Sex and the City!) and I was a late bloomer. I was late to the party. So I was doing it a lot.My mom walked in on me basting the turkeyright before we had to leave to go to my grandmas house.Even though she was a cool mom it was still an awkward car ride. I just listened to my CD player the whole time. Kim, 29

 

And, lastly…

Whatever your needs. Call us.

1-800-SEX TALK

 

 

[Images found throughout Google, and quotes are from: Here].

Listen up Men…

If you are not getting any, or participating in self-pleasure you aren’t doing yourself ANY favors.

In fact, you may be putting your physical and mental health in danger.

Here are a few inserts from a Men’s Health Magazine that should help encourage you to pick up your cellphone and call 1-800-SEX-TALK right away…



If you don’t masturbate, your risk of prostate cancer goes up.

If your dry spell extends to the self-pleasure zone i.e., if you’re not masturbating at all research says that’s not healthy. In fact, multiple studies have pointed to the conclusion that “high ejaculation frequency” (a.k.a. jerking off at least 4.6 to seven times a week) is linked to a lower risk of prostate cancer. So get out those baby wipes and turn on Pornhub for the sake of your own health.

 

Your immune system gets weaker.

Orgasms are incredibly beneficial to your immune system, as psychologists Carl Charnetski and Francis Brennan Jr. found. They conducted a study where they asked patients who were having sex once or twice a week to provide saliva samples. Those samples were found to contain an extremely high concentration of the common-cold busting antibody immunoglobulin A. Who knew that extremely close contact was a net-positive in terms of preventing illness?

 

Your blood pressure can spike.

A great night of lovemaking can make literally everything else in the world feel better. Even if your boss won’t stop breathing down your neck, or if you’re under a bunch of deadlines, youre consistently getting laid, so all of that stuff seems super manageable.

Science says thats not a coincidence. In fact, a 2006 study in the medical journal Biological Psychology found that people who were having regular sex had lower levels of blood pressure than those who weren’t.



Pretty scary, huh?

Check out the rest of the article here.

So rather than have to make the above a reality, give us a call.

Self-pleasuring is healthy after all, and we want you to live a long, wonderful life.

1-800-SEX TALK

Honestly, when you first saw this object…

What was the first word that popped into your head?


The answer? This is a Dildo. An ancient STONE dildo from Roman times.

Can you imagine using stone sex toys? Aren’t you glad that we’ve moved onto silicone toys?

To read more about ANCIENT SEX TOYS, check out this nifty article. It’s about a 2 to 3 minute read.


Feeling turned on after reading this article? Good! Give us a call. Pull out your modern equivalents, and let’s get to work!

1-800-SEX TALK



There’s a trending topic on many porn sites, that have partners begging their significant others to perform the task.

What is it?

It’s Female Ejaculation and / or Squirting.

Wait–wait, aren’t they the same thing? Isn’t Female Ejaculation and Squirting the synonymous? 

Nope. Nope.

And, this is why science is awesome!

————————————————————————-

Have you ever experienced Female Ejaculation or Squirting with a partner? What did it taste like? What did it look like? Did it turn you on? Did it make you want her more? What did you do to “get her there”? Will you share your technique with us? Tell us step by step, while we try it out ourselves…

1-800-SEX TALK



 

TO CELEBRATE HUMP DAY…

1-800-SEX TALK

WILL HUMP WHILE TALKING ABOUT SEX.

🥁+ SHHHH!

(Okay, okay, I admit that was lame. But do you want to know what is NOT lame? Just check out these messed up beauties.


INAPPROPRIATE DIRTY JOKES

&

INAPPROPRIATE COMICS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS


YOU’RE WELCOME!

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

 

Ps. Any favorites? Call us, and let us know!

1-800-SEX TALK

 

[Insert Sexy two-partner position here]

“Yeah, but does it WORK?”


Have you ever gone through a magazine, and it had illustrations for some sexy positions for two-partner sex? Have you ever took a closer look at the picture, and wondered, “How on Earth would that work?”

Well, Cosmopolitan found two people to take the challenge of attempting a live-action version of underwater sex.

And, yes, and the results are wonderfully hilarious!

The video accompanying the article, “Watch Real People Struggle Through Cosmo’s Underwater Sex Positions”, is absolutely amazing.

(Please don’t eat while watching this).

Have you ever tried any of these before?

One of our girls says that she was semi-successful with “Surfs Up” (for a few thrusts), until she got the giggles, and ended up rocking the raft until it capsized. Her partner had gotten water up his nose, and they had to stop until he was okay. She said that they tried one more time, and was nearly successful, but the friction or the amount of bouncing on the raft ended up popping it. She says there’s nothing like having sex, while slowly sinking into the water. They had to move to the hot tub, to finish. “At least the hot tub had the metal ADA bars to hold on to, as he thrusted into me”.

Sounds like good times.


Did any of the positions in the video actually work for you?

Would you like to fantasize about doing one of them with our girls? We are all ears!

1-800-SEX TALK

Intrigued by Monday’s blog post about Erotic Comic books, we decided to dig further and see what else was out there.

“Oh Joy, Sex Toy”, one of the cartoons mentioned in yesterday’s list also features—wait for it—erotic coloring books for adults.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you would know that coloring books have made a comeback in the last few years with a new audience: adults.

Coloring books are being sold to adults at a record pace, because they are advertised to be a great stress reliever.

Have anxiety? Draw in a coloring book.

Bored? Draw in a coloring book.

Want to pretend that your five? Draw in a–kidding, just kidding.😜

“Oh Joy, Sex Toy” creates comics that nearly covers everything found in the sex industry and sex education.

They are well drawn, and very relatable.

(They are very sexy, too. Take a look at the two girls getting it on. That’s HOT!)


If this is a turn on for you, let us know.😉

1-800-SEX TALK

Call today.

XXXENOPHILE, ‘Safe Sex”.

Are you looking for strongly written, and well drawn comic book series portraying adult themes? After raking through the internet, we have found you a well-written guide to great NSFW comic books.

15 Comics TOO HOT To Read In Public

If you find yourself turned on by any of this, feel free to give us a call, and tell us all about it. Is there a fantasy that you would like to try that you found in one of the books? Our girls are open-minded, and are interested in trying anything that you throw at us. Call today.

1-800-SEXTALK

Let’s talk about Lube.

If you have walked into the Family Planning / Sexual Well-being section of your local grocery store, you are going to find an array of sexual lubricants: Warming, Water-based, Flavored, etc..

But what does all of this mean? And, which lube is safe to use with your butt-plug, vibrator or cock-ring?

Well, here’s a handy visual tool to help learn all about those lubes.

8 Types of Lube…

You’re welcome.


Do you have any funny/painful lube stories? We do:

 

“I wish that I knew the difference between the lubes. I had bought a warming lube, and mistakenly used it for anal sex. On the bottle of the product, it said to not use it internally. I must have forgotten about the warnings, and went on ahead using it for anal play. My partner at that time, took a glob of the gel, and spread it all over his genitals. And, shortly thereafter, we started anal-sex. The warming effect of the lube didn’t activate right away. It took time to warm up. Initially, it felt good. This was some amazing magical gel. My partner even added more to his balls, because he liked the sensation the warming effect gave. Except, the magical gel didn’t know when to stop. It kept warming up to the point of “Get it off of me!” My partner said it felt like his balls were being burned off. We rushed to the bathroom, and frantically tried to wash off the lube from our bodies. We ended up taking separate showers, and not resuming sex afterwards. 

We laugh about it now, but we learned a valuable lesson the hard way: pay attention to where your lubes can go. My insides burned and tingled for several hours afterwards. Every time I needed to go #2, they would burn again. It took about a week for everything to go back to normal. He says that his balls were very red for a few days, and it also took him about a week for them to return to normal”.

SO READ THE ARTICLE ABOVE!!!

 

“I was new to sex, and had a lot of articles talking about the importance of using lubercants. I had just bought some silicone based lube, and was excited to try it out. My partner complained that I was sort of dry down there, and wanted to know if I had some lube. Being too excited about using it, I pulled it out, and dumped a LOT of it on myself. I didn’t realize that too much lube could be a problem. (I also didn’t read the directions that said that a few drops would suffice either). So we start having sex, and I can’t feel anything. I can see that he is sliding in and out of me at a record pace, and I am feeling absolutely nothing. After another minute of him penetrating me, he stops, and shakes his head. Apparently, I had put so much lube down there, that he couldn’t get any friction either. He tried different speeds, but nothing was working for him. I simply had too much lube down there, and he couldn’t feel a thing. We tried mopping up the lube with a towel, but it wasn’t enough. I ended up having to give him a hand job using a towel”.

SO READ THE ARTICLE ABOVE!!!

Have a funny lube story? Feel free to share with us at

1-800-SEX TALK

Do you have some new lube that you want to try out? Give us a call. We will get ours, and we can have a lube party together!